When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer.
Never tell your Mom her diet's not working.
Stay away from prunes.
Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to.
Never let your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone.
I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead.
"Have you seen this"? I indignantly asked my husband.
"What"? he asked. "The wrinkles"?
In the early 1990's, when I was stationed at Caserma Carlo Ederle in Italy, it was very common to see soldiers riding bicycles back and forth to work.
So it came as no big surprise that, after a series of painfully comic accidents, a new policy was announced, saying in summary, "Soldiers shall no longer salute officers who are engaged in the riding of a bicycle."