A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to my surgeon!"
So this guy took his wife on a fishing trip, and she did everything wrong.
First, she kept talking out loud; everybody know that scares the fish away!
Then she used the wrong bait.
And then she was reeling in the line too soon.
But worst of all, she caught a lot more fish than he did!
The lawyer was cross-examining a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you were given R5000.00 to throw this case?"
The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction - no response.
Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, "Please answer the question."
"Oh," said the startled witness, "I thought he was talking to you."