A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
"I will give anything of mine to the person who swims across that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY there's a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can - fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, "I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?"
Breathless the guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!"
There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other assignments.
There were papers to suit all needs and as it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade and C grade.
A student who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than his assignment, went to the "bank" and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for an inconspicuous C, retyped it and handed the work in.
In due course he received it back with the professor's comments "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have had an A, and now I am glad to give it one!"