Fisherman: "Let me tell you about the 30 pound bass I caught! Darn thing fought for three hours before I finally landed it."
Friend: "Wait, I saw the picture you posted online -- you're lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds."
Fisherman: "Well, a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting."
Three elderly men are walking through the park.
The first says, "It sure is windy."
The second responds, "No it isn't, it's Thursday."
The third says, "I am too. Let's get something to drink."
There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, "What do you do for a living?"
He said, "I'm a former window washer."
I asked, "When did you give it up?"
He replied, "Halfway down."