From the deck of a cruise ship, a passenger saw a small island with a bearded man shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is that?" the passenger asked the steward.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor who was able to fit for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
The mop threat
Jerry got into a brawl with the class bully. The big bully, in a threatening tone, growled, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."
Jerry, mustering enough courage, replied back, "You will regret it."
The bully said, "Really? And do you mind explaining why?"
Jerry replied, "I don't think you will be able to get into the corners very well."