021213Die egskeiding voor Kersfees

Die ou man van die Kaap bel sy seun in Windhoek die dag en sê: "Seun ek en jou ma gaan na 45jaar van getroude lewe skei"

"Wat?? Waarvan praat Pa???!!!" skree die seun.

"Ja" sê die pa "ons het net niks om vir mekaar te sê nie en ons kan mekaar net nie langer verduur nie. Ek is moeg om hieroor te praat, sal jy asb jou suster bel en haar vertel?"

Die ontstelde seun haas hom om die slegte nuus aan sy suster oor te dra. By die aanhoor daarvan ontplof sy: "Dit sal die dag wees," skreeu sy "laat dit in my hande oor"

Sy bel haar pa in die Kaap. "Julle gaan NIE skei NIE!! Moet niks doen voordat ek nie daar is nie. Ek gaan my broer bel en ons sal almal môre daar wees. Moet NIKS doen voor die tyd nie. HOOR PA MY??" en sy plak die foon neer.

Die ou man skakel sy selfoon af, draai na sy vrou en sê: "Opgelos!! Hulle kom huistoe vir Kersfees….en elkeen betaal sy eie petrolgeld!..."

Potato Salad

On my way to a church picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to order 500 gram of potato salad.

"We don't sell it in 500 grams," the clerk snapped.

"Okay, then give me two 250 grams , please," I replied.

I'm proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, "Do you want it in one container?"

First Impressions

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"