Pay for mistakes
Husband and wife had an argument. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again. I am coming to live with you."
Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you."
Trying to hard
Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, I married a small town Ohio girl.
While I was in seminary school, I had a temporary assignment at a church in a rural community.
The day of my first sermon, I tried very hard to fit in. Maybe too hard.
With my wife sitting in the first pew, I began my discourse, "I never saw a cow until I met my wife."
Employees dying on the job are failing to fall down.
This practice must stop as it becomes impossible to distinguish between death and the natural movement of the staff.
Any employees found dead in the upright position will be dropped from the payroll.
Nun on the Run
A nun stepped out of the doctor's office, saying her rosary rather loudly as she hurried down the hospital corridor.
Another doctor witnessed this, and went to ask her doctor about it.
"Hey, what happened? The nun ran out of her praying her rosary as though it were the end of the world!"
"Oh, I just told her she was pregnant." The first doctor replied.
"Oh my! Is she?"
"No, but it sure cured her hiccups!"