Gatiep’s Car problems
Gatiep tried to sell his old car. He was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 kilos on it.
One day he mentioned his problem to a friend he worked with. The friend told him, "There is a way to make your car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied Gatiep, "as long as I can sell the car."
"Okay," said the friend. "Here's the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your car back to 50,000 km. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell." The following weekend, Gatiep made the trip to the mechanic.
A month later, the friend asked Gatiep, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied Gatiep, "why should I? It only has 50,000 km on it.?"
Where’s your wife?
A man was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much.
One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of cosmetics knocked on his door and asked to see his wife. The man told her that his wife wasn't home.
"Well," replied the saleswoman, "could I please wait for her?" The man directed her to the living room and left her there for more than three hours.
The saleswoman was getting really worried, so she called out to the man and asked, "May I know where your wife is?"
"She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she returning?"
"I don't really know," he said. "She's been there eleven years now."
"Johnny," said the teacher, "if coal is selling at R60 a ton and you pay your dealer R240, how many tons will he bring you?"
"A little over three tons, ma'am," said Johnny.
"Why, Johnny, that isn't right," said the teacher.
"No, ma'am, I know it isn't," said Johnny, "but they all do it."