At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.
So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him an idiot or blind. Do you understand all that?" The little boy nodded yes again.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play too, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach stupid is it?" The little boy shook his head NO.
"GOOD," said the coach, "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother."
A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in summer camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella.
The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?"
The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?"
A man was working in his backyard when a little neighbor boy stopped by. "Whatcha doin'?" said the little boy.
The man replied, "I'm putting fertilizer on my strawberries."
"Oh," the little boy said, "My mom puts whipped cream on ours."