050613

Automation

A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and then watched helplessly as the cup failed to appear -- a nozzle sent coffee down the drain while another poured cream after it.

"Now that's automation!" he exclaimed. "It even drinks for you!"

Nouns

7-year-old Bethany was placing nouns under the correct heading in class. All the words were from a list.

The teacher came over and looked at her lists. There where five: Persons, Places, Things, Ideas, and ... Other?

The teacher asked Bethany, "Why are there five lists?"

Bethany answered, "Because my brother didn't fit any of the categories."

Misquote

A friend of mine attended a Christian college where the tradition was to deliver a box of notes nightly from the men's' dorm to the women's dorm and vice versa.

My friend would write his fiance a note every night and close it with an inspirational Scripture reference.

One night, he meant to write the reference II Corinthians 5:1, which says:
"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands."

Unfortunately, he referenced I Corinthians 5:1, which says:
"It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans..."