World War II Veteran
When I worked as a medical intern in a local hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent.
It took me some time to understand that he had no insurance coverage.
One thing he had made clear was that he was a World War II veteran, so I had him transported to the Veteran's Administration hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.
The next day my patient was back, with a note from the VA: "Right war, wrong side."
A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma,that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
"What?! You coming empty handed?"
A university student was studying astronomy and enjoying it greatly.
One morning at breakfast she mentioned, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon."
Her little brother piped up: "Are you gonna let her go, Mom??"