Physics saving lives
During a difficult physics lecture, a pre-med student interrupted: "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives," the professor responded firmly, and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again: "So, how exactly does physics save lives?"
The prof replied, "It keeps the idiots out of medical school."
A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were sitting around late one evening, and they got to discussing which was the oldest profession.
The doctor pointed out that according to biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world.
The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession.
The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?"
A young man visiting a ranch wanted to be macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.
As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, "Say, look at that big bunch of cows."
The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd.'"
"Herd of cows."
"Sure, I've heard of cows...there's a big bunch of 'em right over there."