A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom and his hands are very dirty.
She stopped him and said, "John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?"
Smiling the boy replied, "I think I would be too polite to mention it."
In the far distant future in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the universe were having a convention on a far distant galaxy. Two men were seated next to one another when they struck up a conversation.
"Where are you from?" the one asked.
"I'm from Alpha Century," he answered. "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Earth" was the answer.
"I know someone from earth," the Alpha Centurion said. "John Smith. Do you know him?"
"I was driving around and around a parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me. "Going out?" I called to them.
"No," said the man. "Just friends.""
A father in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, makes a turn at a red light where it isn't allowed.
"Uh oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man says.
"That's okay, Dad," the son says. "The police car right behind us did the same thing."