Midde Age Wisdom
Middle age is when you want to see how long the car will last instead of how fast it will go.
Middle age is when you're asked to slow down by the doctor instead of the police
In the Dorm
In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights: dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the resident assistant.
Approaching his room one afternoon, the resident assistant noticed his door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his sink, he thought: Those crazy guys actually thought they could fool me with that old gag!
But then he noticed that "those crazy guys" had removed the drainpipe beneath his sink.
During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he served for some months, his hat was passed around for a goodwill offering.
When it returned to the pastor, it was empty. The pastor didn't flinch. He raised the hat to Heaven and said, "I thank You, Lord, that I got my hat back from this congregation."
Untouched for 600 Years
A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe.
"This place," the guide told them, " is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."
"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do."