Adam And Eve
Adam bit the apple and, feeling great shame, covered himself with a fig leaf. Eve, too, felt shame and covered herself with a fig leaf. Then she went behind the bush to try on a maple leaf, a sycamore, and an oak...
With his request approved, the CNN News cameraman quickly used his cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let's go!" The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.
Once in the air, the cameraman instructed the pilot, "Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can get shots of the fires on the hillsides."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm a cameraman for CNN," he responded, "and I need to get some close up shots."
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, "So, what you're telling me, is ... you're NOT my flight instructor?!"
Robbing a bank
"There's a 73-year-old man in Florida who has been charged with robbing the same bank three times. In his defense, he actually only robbed the bank once, he just went back twice to use the bathroom."
At the supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop.
Finally, she blurted out, "I don't want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!"
The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother's dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss."