Catoon

Gone to Heaven

A father was at the beach with his children when the four- year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Papa, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Papa replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

My job history

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned - couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work way just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

So, then I retired ... and found out I was perfect for the job!

"Taking Down The Flag"

My husband was serving his last few years of military service on active duty with an Army reserve unit. There were three branches of military reserve units at our last duty station. During one month, my husband and his buddy were assigned to take down the flag at the end of the day, which is a very formal affair to watch.

One day my husband and his buddy marched solemnly out to the flag pole and saluted the flag. Then his buddy begin to haul the flag down. After a minute of this and not seeing a flag come down, they both looked up.

The flag had already been taken down...