The Meaning of Life?

My daughter is going to middle school and I thought I should start talking to her about some serious stuff, such as the meaning of life.

Her response: "My meaning of life is to please Mommy."

So then I asked: "What about Daddy?"

She said: "Your meaning of life is to please Mommy, too"

Apology Expected!

On her way back from the concession stand, Sally asked the man at the end, “Sir, did I step on your foot a minute ago?”

Expecting an apology the man said, “Indeed you did!”

Sally nodded. “Oh, good. Then this is my row.”

How Many Seconds in a Year?

The teacher said, "Now class, we know their are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?"

All the kids looked baffled by the question except Rufus, who raises his hand and waves it excitedly.

"Yes, Rufus, how many seconds are there in a year?" the teacher asked.

Replied Rufus, "Twelve, m'am. January second, February second, March second..."

House Cleaning

Harry walks into his supervisor's office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Harry," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Harry, "I knew I could count on you!"