In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical support director and customer service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low.
The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat."
Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah, right. So, how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?"
An office technician got a call from a computer user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that her computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her, "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I'll fix it for you."
About ten minutes later she showed up at his door... with the electrical cord in her right hand.
During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degrees.
“But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees,” remarked one of the trainees.
“Don’t be stupid,” the sergeant roared. “This is a small circle.”
"Dog Dance Lessons"
This guy decides he wants his dog to be able to dance, so he enrolls the pet in dance classes. Dutifully, he takes this dog to class every week, but he sees no improvement. Finally, he takes the instructor aside and says, "I'm spending a fortune here. Why isn't my dog's dancing improving?"
"I'm sorry," the instructor replies, "but there's not much I can do. Your dog has two left feet."