Woman to her fiancee: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
"That's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles."
"That's because we aren't married yet!"
At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer:
"If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay aboard.
With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio help callers with their home problems. One woman called up hysterical after finding a skunk in her basement.
"Leave a trail of breadcrumbs or cat food from your basement to your backyard," suggested the show's host. "That'll get rid of it."
An hour later, the woman called back, even more upset.