A salesman was assigned to secure an important client but failed in his mission.

He texted his secretary and asked her to break the news tactfully to his boss. His message read: "Failed in securing client, prepare the boss."

He shortly received the following text reply from his secretary: "Boss is prepared, prepare yourself."

Who Makes the Coffee??

A married couple were arguing who is making the coffee, the wife said that in the Bible it says that men should make the coffee and the husband asked her where it said that. The wife opened the Bible and said: "Right here in HEBREWS!"

Going Down!!

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."